You Can’t Therapy Yourself Out of Being Human

Emotional maturity is often framed as staying calm, choosing the right words, and regulating yourself before you speak. But what if that version of maturity is sometimes just emotional distance?

In this episode, I share a recent rupture and repair in my own relationship and explore how therapy culture can unintentionally reinforce the idea that if we just regulate enough, we can avoid messy human moments. The reality is that we can’t therapy ourselves out of being human, and trying to do so can actually create more disconnection.

We talk about vulnerability, repair, and why real emotional maturity isn’t the absence of rupture, but the willingness to return afterward. Capacity doesn’t disappear when we’re overwhelmed or reactive. It lives alongside those moments, and often becomes most visible through them.

If you’ve ever taken conflict or emotional overwhelm as evidence that something is wrong with you or your relationship, this episode offers a different way to understand what’s happening.

You might as well be human with someone else.

For the companion essay, visit https://theunbecominghub.substack.com/